Monday, December 27, 2010

Don't swim or run (we'll have none).

Don't swim or run (we'll have none).

No lovely face, no lover
none of that for you
You washed it down the sink
finished it, you're through

And to the sea it vanished
heavy heart and hand
forgotten or unloved, unknown
but away from you I swam

And in my heart I wonder,
was that always your plan
to push and pull until we tore
so you could say I ran...

Written 12.27.10 @ 2:00 AM

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Your Face, the Sound, and my Heart...

Your Face, the Sound, and my Heart on the Ground.

I miss you coming home to me.
The rush I felt those last few moments right before I saw your face.
The keys jingling, the door opening, and then leaning into you.
My smile never wider, my eyes never brighter.
The best part of my days was what I shared with you.

Now the afternoons and evenings come, and I sit silently.
Warring with myself over what the sound of your footsteps used to be.

Written 12.15.10 @ 1:40 AM

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Are we hiding or are we lost?

Are we hiding or are we lost?

I'm hiding where you won't be found
living in the underground
Crawling through the dark by day
hoping to be found this way

Preparing for the death of me
with secret prayers you'll set me free
But in the blackness I am blind
can't see that I'm not yours to find

For you're already lost at sea.

Written 12.5.10 @ 12:20 AM

Friday, December 3, 2010

One month since the end...

One month since the end...

Today it's been one month.
Most days I'm okay without you.
But sometimes, some moments,
I feel the loss of your love like a punch to the gut.

And the blow sucks the breath from my lips,
the beat from my heart.
Every last bit.

I know that once the moment passes,
I'll survive somehow.
But in that moment...
I'd burn the very earth on which I stand
to have you back again.

Written 12.3.10 @ 1:10 AM

Lost in your layers

Lost in your layers

There are layers of clouds
Just like the layers of you
I thought the top was the top
But then I fell through

Lost in the haze of your insides
Can't walk away, or swallow my pride

Instead I beg
For the sunshine.

Written 11.3.10 @ 10:30 AM
(On the saddest flight home, and the day that changed everything.)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

When I fall asleep

When I fall asleep

The darkness whispers your name
I try not to hear it
But it seeps into my brain

And I wake up crying just the same
As when I fell asleep.

Written 11.7.10 @ 6:01 PM

Monday, November 22, 2010

You Who Flew Away

You Who Flew Away

When I die
(and I will die)
I'll wish that you were there
That you were strong enough to stay.

There will always be traces of you in my heart
They can never fade away
(They were born in there to stay.)

Unlike you
Who flew away
(But it's all right
We all decay
in heart and body anyway.)

But if I were here today
I'd ask for you to stay.


Written approximately on 11.4.10
Revised 11.22.10 @ 11:00 PM

Friday, November 19, 2010

Nowhere is home.

Nowhere is home.

You let me call my space with you home. Why would you if you knew I couldn't stay? You should've cut me off at the knees. Would've been cruel, but at least it would be honest. It would've prepared me.

Instead you let me sink so deep into your arms. The one place where I felt safe, where I felt unbreakable.

And then you broke me.

Now nothing is safe, and nowhere is home.

Written 11.18.10 @ 3:33 PM

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Our Slanted Room.

Our Slanted Room

We're in bed, but we're not
You're away in dreams and I in thought.

The ceiling calls attention with its slant
For achieving asymmetry I can't.

This beautiful strangeness seduces the eye
Making the world seem too big to hear me cry.

And yet I do, with thoughts of you
Inside our slanted room.

Written 8.31.10 @ 8:50 AM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Reflection.

The Reflection.

You leave the room
without a word
and I feign ignorance
back to the door
eyes on the screen
but I'm not watching the TV

Only waiting for your reflection
to appear and soften the friction
of this growing void.

Written 8.17.10 @ 1:58 PM

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Capturing love with the lens.

Capturing love with the lens.

You have a good eye for photography
So why don't you use it more on me
I'll be the flash and you the film
And we'll capture the lovers' realm

Don't shy away, command the lens
And document these lover friends
From youthful blossoms in the spring
To hard roads they'll be weathering

Each tick of time a precious frame,
A tender moment, and our sweet claim
To life and love and breath and touch
Make our last frame illustrate such

And Time will be our endwise witness
To the breadth and depth of feral love.

Written 7.22.10 @ 10:28 PM

Sunday, July 18, 2010



I like the look that's lived-in
Scattered sheets and open locks
Surround ourselves with love-fused objects
You fold the towels and I the socks

Every item sought and touched
Laid in this room by one of us
Except for those you wanted closer
Pieced me up and closed the box

But love is not an object
And can't be caught or tamed
It flows through the air we breathe
And electrifies this home we've made.

Written 7.18.10 @ 8:05 PM

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Racing the Darkness.

Racing the Darkness.

The trees sparkle with fireflies,
Late night, and we're all alone.
They're racing the darkness,
And I'm racing home.

My foot on the pedal,
My mind in the clouds,
And my heart dissolving
Under earthen shrouds.

Roadside, my eyes catch a glimpse
Of a friend, a foe, a follower:
My motor's speeding shadow,
And it blazes as I cower.

The sight of it making me ache,
As I yearn to break free
From this heavy, dark, unseemly fate
Of a life bound by me.

Written 6.13.10 @ approximately 12:00 AM

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

'Til our fingers touch again...

'Til our fingers touch again...

I didn't want to say goodbye. And the longer we stood there, the more distant and dreamlike the memories of our beautiful time became. I wanted us to hold each other forever. I gave you my newest poem, inspired by your tenderness, and told you to save it for later. We kissed and hugged a while. And eventually, after a few failed attempts to part ways, we let go and our fingers lost touch... I hated the feeling of weightlessness in my hand once your fingers were no longer resting in it. It was sudden and cruel.

Written 6.8.10 @ approximately 9:00 AM

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Mapping Out of Love.

The Mapping Out of Love.

I follow the map of your body,
Tracing its hills and valleys
With my love-thirsty index finger:
The fleshy, naive wanderer
In search of truth and beauty
On this fleeting, faulted earth.

But in all its years of wayward travel,
Never did it find such phantom treasures.
And the hope and wonder in its flesh
Began to fade,
Like the ink once used to draw
The very first maps of this earth:
Now worn down by life, forgotten by man.

Until you.
Until it touched your cool terrain.
Until it crossed your love-drenched plains.
And suddenly, all the beauty of the world
Was fused into this ancient flesh of mine
Through you
And the treasures I found
Flourishing across your landscape.

Written 5.20.10 @ 11:06 PM and 5.27.10 @ 10:50 AM

Wednesday, May 12, 2010



Water my heart with your lovepail.
Let its tiny, enriching pores
Drip countless beads of affection
Onto my cardial core.

Watch the nectar saturate
Its every valve and vein,
And feel my pulse's first true pump
From the love that you let rain

Upon me.

Written 5.12.10 @ 6:17 PM

Monday, April 26, 2010

Yearning to be free, free as a bird.

Yearning to be free, free as a bird.

I'm sitting outside here, on my patio. The swiftly moving gray skies surround me, but birds still chirp all around, like on a beautiful sun-filled day. And one of them landed on the ledge of the patio roof, just a moment ago. Perched not far from where I sat. I whistled to it, seeing if I could imitate another bird. It sat there for a few seconds, not falling for my ruse. Then, out of nowhere, it took flight and sailed across our backyard and out of sight. And sudden tears ran down my face. I thought for a moment and knew why...

This bird could do what I could not: It didn't like its situation, and in an instant, broke free of it. It had felt scared or threatened or unhappy or trapped. And it took to flight. Breaking free from its boredom or unhappiness or fear. It lifted off and flew away from everything that could've held it back. And for once, just once, I wish I had the strength to soar. To break free from this body of mine.

Written 4.26.10 @ 5:28 PM

My Body, My Foe.

My Body, My Foe

This body is my foe.
It holds my heart
And lets it grow,
Then steals away
The love it sowed.

Thus I am forever prone
To being left empty
And alone,
Dreaming of a life

Written 4.26.10 @ 3:30 PM

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

With You.

With You.

You will be the thing that breaks me.
If you won't have me, Life will take me.

Its widowed lover, I shall feel
And its hollow heart will reel
When my quest becomes my steal

And a widower it shall stand
With my broken heart in hand
And the memories of a life I planned

With you.

Written 4.21.10 @ 8:26 PM

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Dark Dive of a Sunny Soul.

The Dark Dive of a Sunny Soul

If the sun would shine through
I'd find a way to meet you
In the darkened corridors
Of where the earth conceived you

But the light is fading
And my heart is craving
Sea and sky and open doors
Instead of life in waiting

But your soul is blameless
And though the light's contagious
I'll dive into the black of night
In hopes that it will save us.

Written 3.12.10 @ 6:25 PM