Monday, December 27, 2010

Don't swim or run (we'll have none).

Don't swim or run (we'll have none).

No lovely face, no lover
none of that for you
You washed it down the sink
finished it, you're through

And to the sea it vanished
heavy heart and hand
forgotten or unloved, unknown
but away from you I swam

And in my heart I wonder,
was that always your plan
to push and pull until we tore
so you could say I ran...

Written 12.27.10 @ 2:00 AM

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Your Face, the Sound, and my Heart...

Your Face, the Sound, and my Heart on the Ground.

I miss you coming home to me.
The rush I felt those last few moments right before I saw your face.
The keys jingling, the door opening, and then leaning into you.
My smile never wider, my eyes never brighter.
The best part of my days was what I shared with you.

Now the afternoons and evenings come, and I sit silently.
Warring with myself over what the sound of your footsteps used to be.

Written 12.15.10 @ 1:40 AM

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Are we hiding or are we lost?

Are we hiding or are we lost?

I'm hiding where you won't be found
living in the underground
Crawling through the dark by day
hoping to be found this way

Preparing for the death of me
with secret prayers you'll set me free
But in the blackness I am blind
can't see that I'm not yours to find

For you're already lost at sea.

Written 12.5.10 @ 12:20 AM

Friday, December 3, 2010

One month since the end...

One month since the end...

Today it's been one month.
Most days I'm okay without you.
But sometimes, some moments,
I feel the loss of your love like a punch to the gut.

And the blow sucks the breath from my lips,
the beat from my heart.
Every last bit.

I know that once the moment passes,
I'll survive somehow.
But in that moment...
I'd burn the very earth on which I stand
to have you back again.

Written 12.3.10 @ 1:10 AM

Lost in your layers

Lost in your layers

There are layers of clouds
Just like the layers of you
I thought the top was the top
But then I fell through

Lost in the haze of your insides
Can't walk away, or swallow my pride

Instead I beg
For the sunshine.

Written 11.3.10 @ 10:30 AM
(On the saddest flight home, and the day that changed everything.)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

When I fall asleep

When I fall asleep

The darkness whispers your name
I try not to hear it
But it seeps into my brain

And I wake up crying just the same
As when I fell asleep.

Written 11.7.10 @ 6:01 PM