Her Love is in Our Hands.

Her Love is in Our Hands

She walks with us among the leaves,

Her love will guide us home

She gives us strength to breathe with ease,

Holding us when we're alone

She puts her love within our hands,

Though she left too soon

For the world couldn't handle

A sun without a moon

But behind her she made way for us

And the love that carries us.

Although she left too soon.

...For Kelly.

Written 11.16.09 @ 1:45 PM

What We Are.

What We Are

Today we are what we love
The sand, the earth, the sky

But love is not enough
And neither am I.

Written 10.30.09 @ 11:48 PM

The Southern Exodus/The Northern Happiness.

The Southern Exodus/The Northern Happiness

They were an ordinary family. Two parents. Hardworking, loving, middle-class, selfless, and aging. Several children, a mixture of boys and a few girls. All clothed, fed, educated, disciplined, respected, and loved. Years back, they decided to take on an adventure together. To move to the north. They felt in their hearts that the journey would erase their troubles and give them new hope. It would change them all. And it did. But in ways different than they dreamed.

They made the move successfully. All their persons were safe and in one piece. But the years to come were not as successful or beautiful as the original dreams that had brought them there. Job losses, prolonged unemployment, illnesses, hospital stays, grandparents passing, high-risk pregnancies, piling bills, sparse groceries, and a crowded apartment. This ordinary family, full of adventure and dreams, was hit with one punch after another. Each one more forceful and gutwrenching than the last. And as time went on, they began to wonder if their daring to dream was worth all this ruin.

But hope can save the anguished soul. One day they got a phone call that their maternal grandmother, who had passed since the start of their adventure, had left a bank account in the name of her daughter. And it had a sizeable sum of money. Not certain but optimistic, they believed it could be enough to buy the family their very own house. The first since their exodus from the south. And they felt that maybe, just maybe, this could be a token of their former happiness. The very kind they unknowingly lost in their climb to the north.

A few months went by, and after seemingly aimless and fruitless house hunting, they innocently stumbled upon a ripe peach one day. It was still young and not quite perfect. But it was bursting with potential. The kind that made their homesick eyes sparkle for the first time in years. Dealing and negotiating was done, and anxiety, worry, and stress was had. But in the end, the seller's gave way. And the family won back a token of their past.

Every day following they spent preparing the house, this new treasure of their lovesick hearts. Cleaning, taping, painting, wiring, building, and tweaking. And minute by minute, day by day, they gained an ounce more of their happiness back. With every scrub, every vacuum, every stroke of the brush, renewed joy seeped its way into their lives. For they finally had the one thing they had so heedlessly cast aside and left behind. The very thing they came in search of, not realizing that it exists not in a place but in your heart. They had a home.

Written 10.27.09 @ 11:53 PM

Inner Child.

Inner Child

I am a child, through and through
Time can't take that away from you
My mind is bright with drawings and dreams
And my heart is light with wondrous feelings
Forever and on, whether wrinkled or fair
I will always love, and laugh, and scare
As only a child can truly do
For I am a child, through and through.

Written 10.25.09 @ 11:58 PM

Earth is Love.

Earth is Love

Fertile earth, rebirth me
I want to feel renewed
Aching inside, I cannot hide
From dismal solitude

If only you would grant me
A single chance reborn
To breathe new air, without a care
To have this old flesh torn

From the heart that lies beneath
And waits to beat anew
Grant me your love, I'm not enough
But hope is found in you.

Picture Taken 10.17.09 @ 5:00 PM
Written 10.19.09 @ 11:26 PM

The Attack and the Decay: Part 4.

The Attack and the Decay: Part 4

EVERYDAY HAS A BEAT. A pulse. A rhythm. Sometimes I’m in sync with it. Other times I struggle just to move the many bones within my body. Sometimes I ache. Sometimes it’s physical. Many times it’s emotional. But I’ve carried it for so long that it’s ordinary to me. It’s a part of my life. I don’t think I’d feel complete without it anymore. It’s replaced the feeling of happiness that they could once provide me. If I don’t have this aching, I feel as if I have nothing. It’s my key to the door of my past; the link to the chains that surrounded my childhood. And no matter how hard it pulled me or choked me, I couldn’t give it up. It caused me pain, yes. But only because that connection once gave me so much happiness. That’s how it is with anything in life. The purest, most satisfying things are the coldest and most painful to look at once they’re no longer in your possession. But is it better to feel that pain in exchange for that one moment of pure bliss; or is it better to pass it by – unscathed, untouched, and ignorant to such contentment in the world? Is one-time love better than none at all? My mind wanders back and forth, and I can never choose a side. So I try to remain neutral…or at least appear so.

[...TO BE CONTINUED...]

Edited 10.7.09 @ 11:51 PM

Originally Written 6.28.06 @ 5:41 AM

The Attack and the Decay: Part 2.

The Attack and the Decay: Part 2

I walk into my personal health clinic, down the hall, second door on the right. It’s homebound. Not many can afford these nowadays. Neither can I. I have connections. Illegal ones. My physical condition required my own health center, but they don’t issue those to single, unaccomplished, poverty-line females, especially if they’re teachers. They don’t want to “encourage the unsanitary moral fabric that public education manifests.” Thus we get no funding, no support, and essentially, the slow decay of life that others are given the right to overcome with modern technologies. They figure if we die off eventually, they’ll control everything soon enough. The chance of revolt will be far slimmer.

But I was never one for politics. I gave them up years ago. After the loss of a lover. One who indulged in them to the fullest. Filled his life with political trifles – all the way to the brim. I used to play the part for him. Dinner parties, soirees, meetings, conferences, campaigns, and the like. I thought at first it was for me. I thought I cared. I thought a difference could be made. But then I saw the light – the kind that’s blinding; that you don’t want to look at but can’t help because its beams are so pervading. And it made me realize that it was all a lie. And with the realization of this truth came the loss of my greatest passion, my greatest love. My first love. But I could not lie to myself – I could not be untrue to the deepest of my core – just for love. Such love cannot defeat the everyday troubles that come with difference in ideals. So I took my separate road. And at the next exit, I left behind my passion and his passion. And never again did I involve myself with politics. It was all a sham. As our love had been.

[...TO BE CONTINUED...]

Edited 10.5.09 @ 9:18 PM

Originally Written 6.28.06 @ 5:41 AM

Everything We Know.

Everything We Know

Earth.
Love.
Me.
You.
Earth.
Love.
Us.

Us.
Earth.

Love.
♥

Written 9.27.09 @ 10:05 PM

Ocean Deep.

Ocean Deep

Love is like the ocean.
Broad and deep.
Beautiful and vast.
Open to the world.
And yours and mine at last.

Written 9.21.09 @ 11:58 PM

LovePour.

LovePour

Can't look you in the eyes
As I sing you lullabies,
My heart's a-pounding

The love-stained verses
Become tender curses
As my tongue's a-fumbling

But every word's for you
And my heart sings true
As my defenses start a-falling

And then you save the day
When you steal my glance away,
Sending my heart a-soaring

So look me in the eyes,
And saying no goodbyes,
Feel the love a-pouring.

Written 9.14.09 @ 11:54 PM